Today, I especially ask you to honor your own questions & answers here.

Even in the face of the unreconcilable,

What might you do?
How do you DECIDE to live?

– Gail Conrad

OPENING:
Hello all you Vanguards & Visionaries, Innovators & Rule-Breakers!

So glad you landed here today!

Here we explore the creative and metaphysical, the link between consciousness and invention, so—let’s break some boundaries, turn things upside down & use the chaos to create in a whole new way!

 And if you haven’t already, subscribe to my podcast. This way I can let you know exactly when the next episode arrives.

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And now—here we go!

(OPENING continues, with MUSIC:)

Hello and welcome to the Wildscape Podcast, sharing tales of stepping into the unknown to create more art, beauty, and magic in your life. I’m your host, Gail Conrad, and today you’re listening to:

HOW DO YOU RECONCILE, THE UNRECONCILABLE?
—
Hello everyone!

I know this is going to sound like I made it up, but I didn’t…

I’m out for coffee on a hot summer’s day, sitting at a table outside.

A man who I assume runs the shop next door, is sweeping the sidewalk, only—I notice him because he’s using his foot, brushing his shoe across the pavement to sweep the leaves, and I think– doesn’t he have a broom? But moments later, I look up again, and—he’s found one.

He sweeps closer and closer to me. I’m eating a roll, drinking a coffee.  Now I wonder: did I drop something? Maybe a napkin? A bunch of breadcrumbs?

But–that’s not it. He sweeps right up to my table, looks at me and says:

What do you do?

So I tell him. Then he asks:

How do you reconcile, the unreconcilable?

I stop breathing. It’s as if he’s read my mind.

But I’m not ready to talk about what’s on my mind, so I say the first thing that pops up, which is:

I go on living and try to change what I can change.

He nods, takes his broom and sweeps away, to another part of the sidewalk. Minutes later, he and his broom are back.

My turn now, so I ask him:

How do YOU reconcile the unreconcilable? 

He pauses, then says:

By talking to people like you. Maybe you help me, and I help you.

He sweeps and travels away, again.

And I sit there—still—the rest of my coffee untouched.

For I went out that morning, to use a common phrase, to clear my head. I’d just found out, on social media no less, that an old friend of mine is dead.

Normally I might say: passed away, left this planet, or left her physical body, but I’m not in the mood for any of these kinds of what feels like more comforting terms.

Instead, I watch him sweep & do laps across the sidewalk with his broom. When he pauses, I blurt out the obvious:

You’re sweeping it.

“Yes,” he says, “We have clutter.  I like to clear the path.”

Okay, now, definitely—I feel as if I’ve entered into some altered state, or maybe I just landed into some kind of alternative universe, with a very wise being speaking to me.

Except—I have no idea who this being is. If I wasn’t so tongue-tied, I might have asked him:

WHO are you?

But I don’t need to—not really, to this seemingly magical person who just crossed my path, and I’ll add, who crossed it, at the exact right moment in time.

Probably whatever he would have said, would only have mystified me more.

I think about his question:

How do you reconcile the unreconcilable?

A few days later, I’m about to go out and buy a birthday card for a friend, but I always keep a bunch of favorite postcards at home, that I pick up here and there.

I decide, I’ll look through these first. Maybe one of these will be better than anything that I will find now.

That’s when I see it, not a postcard that I purchased, but one that was sent to me by my friend who died.

She sent it—oh—maybe twenty years ago, when she was taking photos in the Philippines. I’ve kept it, because it shows a famous dance—very stylized—looks like a pageant. I always loved the image.

And on the card, she writes:

Gail, thought of you. Monday, I fly up north. Hope these steps will help me on this trek but—probably not. Lots of love.

It’s just a few sentences, but holding this postcard, I feel her energy, for not only is this a special image but she was an extraordinary photographer. Any image, that she ever sent out is unforgettable to me.

So I think:

Remembering your photos, reading your words, right now, this helps me, when I think of you. That’s how I reconcile losing you. Except—

Instantly, I change my mind. I don’t reconcile losing you! Maybe I never will reconcile. Or is this even the right word?

For reconcile comes from the Latin words: re, meaning “again,” and concilare, meaning “to make friendly.”

It often means: to restore, resolve, to submit to or accept something unpleasant, or to pacify or to accommodate.

Sounds fine for clearing up an everyday misunderstanding, like a mistake on a bill, or a minor argument or legal matter.

But what about when someone loses a child, or overnight, can never walk again?

Or if you have a break-up with your closest partner or family member and no matter what you try, it never can be mended?

Or how about if you suffer a horrible injustice, that can’t or will never be repaired?

What does unreconcilable mean to you?

In what part of your life, might the phrase:

How do you reconcile the unreconcilable, personally touch you the most?

I had a dear uncle, my father’s brother, who was an experienced captain.

One sunny day, he and a close friend set out on a large well-equipped boat from the Bahamas, heading for West Palm Beach, Florida, a trip he’s taken dozens of times before.

This time however, he, his friend, and his boat, disappear. The coast guard, helicopters, and the FBI search everywhere. They think—maybe they’ve been hijacked by drug-runners for the boat, but—there are no traceable clues.

They are never seen again.

How do you reconcile YOUR unreconcilable?

I bet that we each have a different story, a different situation, a different experience that feels unreconcilable to us.

But, if you have something that feels deeply and utterly unreconcilable to you—if you can’t reconcile, I wonder:

How do YOU heal?

Perhaps you’ve noticed that I have only questions here.

Can you remember a time when, just as you’re experiencing deep despair and searching for a way to go forward—something happens that gives you a feeling of connectiveness?

A feeling that you’re not all alone?

Often, it’s when we connect to something that is larger than ourselves.

It’s as if we put out a signal, a personal energetic SOS. Then somehow, from somewhere, even if we don’t understand where it comes from or how it works, we get a response—a signal back.

A person, an incident, or a special experience comes to us, or crosses our path. And many times, when this happens, it jolts our perception. It expands our view.

I think of it as:

The jolt of infinite possibility.

And with this jolt, sometimes—comes hope!

For all I can say about this mysterious man sweeping the sidewalk: he helps me.

Without fully knowing how or why, afterwards I feel lighter—more energized.

I return to his words:

Maybe I help you and you help me.

Except—
How did I help him?

Did he just need someone to say those words to?

Or did I also happen across his path just at the right moment in time?

I might never know the answer, but–

Haven’t you ever had someone come up to you and say: You really helped me when you…and they go on to describe something you said, but you barely remember it?

Perhaps at the time, you’re not even consciously thinking of assisting them. To you, that moment might feel just like any other ordinary interaction.

But for the other person, turns out it was exactly what they needed to hear.

What if we all, on occasion, deliver this “jolt of infinite possibility” to another, even if we don’t realize that we’re doing this?

You might have both delivered and received this jolt, but think—when you’re the one who receives it—

What do you do?

How do you go forward?

In other words:

How do you ACT?

For perhaps you never reconcile, nor completely heal from certain experiences. You might still carry scars, but-

If you go on living, breathing, moving, with consciousness—awareness, in the face of something that feels unreconcilable to you:

What do you have power over?

How can you use this to take a new step?

Where can you create beauty and meaning in your life?

HOW DO YOU LIVE?

We honor many things in the span of these episodes, but today, I especially ask you to honor your own experiences, your own timetable, and your own questions and answers here.

If anything in your life, feels unreconcilable to you now, know that you’re not alone here. I too, have only questions, so I’ll ask you this:

If you experience, even for a moment, that you reside in a vast and unfathomable universe, filled with infinite possibility, what thoughts come to you now?

Even in the face of the unreconcilable—

What might you do?

How do you DECIDE to live? 

I admit—I sometimes think that I’ll return to that spot again, have a 2^nd coffee and see if I run into that mysterious man sweeping the sidewalk.

But maybe, I don’t want to. To me, our interaction is a moment of magical synchronicity.

It inspires this episode.

His words, “maybe you help me, and I help you,” live with me–still.

Perhaps I’ll leave it at that.

Thank you.

—
I’m Gail Conrad, your host of the Wildscape Podcast. The opening music is by Chip Barrow, and I want to say:

If these episodes are meaningful to you, please do share them with friends.

Also, I always love to hear from you, so if you’d like to contact me directly, you can go to gailconrad.com. That’s
https://gailconrad.com

Thanks so much for listening, and bye for now.

How do you reconcile YOUR unreconcilable?